Us Vs. Zooey: You Are Going To Be The Underpants Captain Tonight

Zooey Deschanel and Jake Johnson in this week's episode of New Girl.

New Girl has a bit of a repeat situation on its hands this week. Right after we wrapped learning the differences between pantsuit women and polka dot woman, Nick comes along to hit the point over the head yet again: Jess is really cute, and people often do what she wants.

Nick and Julia share a cynical outlook of the world for different reasons. Julia has to be tough in order to be taken seriously, but for Nick it basically comes down to—“You see the worst in people. Yeah, because people are the worst.”

Things in the apartment keep breaking, and Nick’s handyman methods can’t work forever, so Jess decides to pay a visit to the landlord, who the boys describe as the most horrible person in the world. His name is Remy (as his tattoo says), and after he almost busts the group for having an extra person in the apartment, Jess baby faces him into fixing some things around the apartment.

Except, according to Nickology, people are the worst, and “any time a man shows a woman how to do something from behind, it’s just an excuse to get really close and breathe on her neck.” So Nick, suspicious of Remy’s intentions, sticks around to protect Jess.

All together now, awww.

A second man doesn’t really deter Remy—he is just as cool with a threesome. Even though he’s never had one himself, he’s fully able to coach Jess and Nick through it (“Menaging fully”) as they play threesome chicken.

As far as situational humor goes, this is all very good. Unfortunately, it’s sort of an irrelevant point, considering we just had an episode detailing how Jess’s doe eyes get her whatever she wants.

Which brings us to another problem with this show: Nick and Jess with their pseudo sexual chemistry is the only consistent point in every episode. Winston had some character growth last week with a girl whose name we cannot remember (because instinctively we knew we would never see her again), and this week—nothing. Schmidt has a job when it suits the show’s purpose, but it is never mentioned with any regularity. His relationship with Cece is also all over the map and not in a good way. And what? Did we hear Kyle is back in the picture? And where the bleep was Julia?

Schmidt is a scene stealer—every frame that he’s in is better because of it. It is a shame and an injustice that he and Winston are not given any continuity because we could really take or leave Zooey Deschanel. She is the fifth best part of it (if you’re counting Cece).

All in all, weak episode, New Girl. If you force us to address the one consistent part of the show—that is, Nick and Jess—it was a funny episode but not exactly a step forward. The show needs to get better at merging humor and quality. Until that point, we’re still giggling at some of Schmidt’s New Year’s resolutions from 2007.

“Just pick a color of crocs and buy them already.”

“Find out where Winston gets his sparkle. And then steal it.”

“Only think about new sexy CFO every other time you masturbate.”

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