Note to the reader: We are those girls. And by “those girls,” we mean Lizzy Caplan’s character, the kind of the girls who don’t really like other girls. Especially not girls like Jess. Neither of us have “rocked a lot of polka dots” since our mothers stopped dressing us.
This means, essentially, that we aren’t the audience for this episode. But that doesn’t stop us from appreciating the situational humor. Abby even feels a little sorry for Jess because of how mean Julia is. Lauren, heartless as she is, does not.
Lizzy/Julia/Janis Ian is Jess’s counterpart, and they certainly couldn’t have done a better job of showing off their differences. In an alternate universe, Julia could have her own show, which we would watch. She would actually “think like a guy” and wouldn’t secretly scheme just like all the other girls, because she would actually be the protagonist of that show. In this show, however, we have to cheer for Jess—the show is called New Girl, after all. This means that Julia has to be kind of a bitch. So she schemes and Nick is taken aback, and we can see that maybe Jess is the one we should be cheering for. After all, there’s only enough “crying space” for one girl on this show.
Julia’s antagonizing leads to Cece being a “real” best friend for basically the first time. Her attacks on Julia necessitate a comparison to Santana from “Glee,” and we loved it. Before this we had been told about the friendship between Jess and Cece, but they never seemed very similar. In fact, if anything, Cece seemed a bit like Julia. Here, however, we see Cece proudly don Jess’s ribbon hat which is, quite literally, made out of ribbons.
However, because we are the Julia-ish girls, we still loved the boys’ humor more in this episode. In fact, this episode cemented our position that Jess will never be the reason to watch this show. Without the banter between Schmidt and Nick, and even a little “sophisticated man” dancing from Winston, we wouldn’t really have enjoyed the episode. Because really, what’s life without a good argument about washing your towels. “Do you wash a bar of soap?”
We’re pretty sure Lizzy Kaplan is leaving soon, and Jess already had a boyfriend who didn’t stick around, so maybe we’ll see Jess and Nick get a chance. We’re still pretty sure that’s where this is going, because Jess (unlike Julia) could never live with three guys just because she likes hanging out with guys.
“I will be putting my dehumidifier and my towel in my room, where nothing ever gets wet.”