Us Vs. Zooey: You’ve got some Schmidt on your face

This week on New Girl, Jess is literally so out of clothes that she comes out of Schmidt’s lost and found (where he keeps the relics of his one night stands) in a Juicy hoodie and gold hoop earrings. That’s the most Jersey Shore you’ll ever see this indie princess. So take a picture.

The outfit plus the broken TV she needs to replace makes the boys (missing Coach, with an addition of Winston) decide it’s time for Jess to retrieve her stuff from Kryptonite ex-boyfriend Spencer.

That’s almost a plotline. Like something is actually going to move forward in this show.

Last week, we ended the episode with the boys serenading Jess Dirty Dancing style. This week, they all took down her boyfriend wearing her ridiculous hats. It’s clear they are meant to be her eternal cheerleaders as we progress with New Girl. Let’s breakdown the roommates.

The Black Guy (Winston)

For a second, it seemed like New Girl was going to ask us to believe that all black people look the same when they spontaneously replaced Coach with a new black guy. Luckily, they covered their tracks with a single line of exposition and introduced us to New Black Guy, also known as Winston.

While it is sort of funny to see Nick and Schmidt—who are already on board with the new girl—try to rationalize her crazy to the new (old?) roommate, we miss Coach. Or, Lauren really misses Coach and Abby is sort of warming up to Winston.

He doesn’t have much of a character yet, but we’re keeping our fingers crossed for later weeks. He did win both of us over completely when “Save the Best For Last” by Vanessa Williams started playing in his car.

The Douchebag One (Schmidt)

It seems like someone told Schmidt that he had to step up the comedy this week while Winston got worked into the rotation. The combination of his sexiness feng shui, his thumb ring, and bitch-slapping Spencer made him this week’s star—the douchebag jar didn’t even need to make an appearance for us to know he gets that label.

Schmidt talks a big game, but at the end of the night, he’s the one at home on the couch watching “heartwarming films” with Jess. He also is more than a little lacking in backstory—just how extensive is that lost and found box?—but we’re willing to overlook that for at least a few weeks.

He’s trying so hard to big alpha dog, but then he demonstrates overwhelming knowledge of jamming, and we just can’t take it.

The Emotionally Damaged One (Nick)

While we like Nick, we actually had to IMDB the show to figure out his name. We were seriously calling him “The Emotionally Damaged One.” Lauren thinks he’s the one Jess will end up with somewhere down the road, while Abby is still sort of torn between him and Jess cleansing Schmidt of his game face.

We didn’t really get any explicit insight into Nick’s emotionally damaged self this week, which is sort of weird considering how much screen time they devoted to his ex last week. But frankly, she was annoying anyway. He did seem to be talking more about himself than Jess when he was coaching her through confronting Spencer. He definitely gets the most points for character depth.

Final Thoughts:

This show seems to be on the right track, as long as it delves more into Winston and Schmidt’s characters instead of letting them serve as backup dancers for Jess. It is a light-hearted comedy, but there should still be character development.

Memorable Quotes:

“I’m a lot flyer than I used to be.”

“He’s wearing a scrunchy.”

“Didn’t you kind of assume he’d have a handlebar mustache.”

“Let’s rap it out.”

“This song is amazing, that’s what’s happening.”

“It’s a classic case of he said, she said.”


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