‘Gossip Girl’ Says Yes to Everything

Not good, you guys. Not good at all.

Chace Crawford, Blake Lively, and Ed Westwick in this week's episode of the CW's "Gossip Girl."

I knew at the end of last season that this show was starting to flicker out. Of its seven young stars, two were kicked out and the remaining five are getting to the point of firm establishment in Hollywood (some more than others). Gossip Girl‘s two female leads have had several movie roles over the past few years, and its men are taking on projects of their own. It’s safe to say that all five of them aren’t as invested in this show as they once were. They don’t take their lines or characters as seriously as they used to. They’re ready for bigger things.

Which is great for them. But it sucks for us. Because we still have to watch this shit.

To be fair, it seems like the writers have given up, too. Everything in this premiere of season five was recycled. Oh, what’s that? Chuck is being reckless, Nate is doing a cougar, and Serena is trying to figure herself out? That sounds sort of familiar. Could it be because that’s all that’s been happening for two or three seasons now?

And Blair continues this charade of princessness. Truthfully, I don’t know where she and Chuck stand now. They both seem to have actually…let go. Which, of course, they haven’t, because then this wouldn’t be Gossip Girl. But now the writers seems to be hardcore pushing the Dan and Blair situation, which has been kind of touch and go from the start. Dan’s all into Blair, and Blair sometimes seems to actually appreciate Dan, but we haven’t really gotten anything from her other than the “Dan and I have a real connection” barb she threw at Serena (which was probably more vindictive than true).

Still, as I’ve said before, Leighton Meester and Penn Badgley are the only ones on this show who are still acting. They actually still emote every once in a while. Good, put them together because at least there’s still something going on behind their faces. Then maybe you can give them a Joanie Loves Chachi spin-off show and call it a day.

Don’t even get me started on Blair’s pregnancy. I can’t even look at you. For a moment I thought they actually were going to pawn the show’s umpteenth fake pregnancy scare on Dorota, but I think even Gossip Girl knows it can’t get away with that this time.



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