In the past few weeks, the plot of Gossip Girl has sort of muddled itself so that it’s impossible to decide what exactly to root for as a viewer. Dan and Blair, Chuck and Raina, Eric and Damien? What is going on with these people. Let’s hope tonight clears some things up.
9:05 p.m. Blair’s current lifestyle is completely unrealistic and insane. But Dorota saying, “She doesn’t have time to care,” is completely perfect.
9:08 p.m. Serena’s completely thrilled she gets to blow off her brother’s birthday to spend time with Ben. Duh. Why do you think this kid got hooked on drugs in the first place?
9:10 p.m. Chuck and Lily are scheming together once more! At least something is returning to natural order.
9:13 p.m. The drug dealing involves a flower shop. Blake Lively, your character from The Town is leaking into this show. Where are your hoop earrings and your Boston accent?
9:14 p.m. Dan stop trying to use Chuck’s tricks! Admit you need me? Right out of Chuck and Blair, season 2.
9:16 p.m. Lily says Eric’s party will be his “last grasp at childhood.” Who’s fault is that, Mommy Dearest?
9:17 p.m. Love that Lily has to educate Chuck in the art of the chase.
9:18 p.m. Raina, being from Chicago, doesn’t know what tai chi. She’s also never ice skated?
9:20 p.m. Blair just leaves him to her desk? That’s not the Type A Blair I know.
9:26 p.m. Nate can’t even think of one subject he would be studying.
9:29 p.m. Lily is really good at pretending she doesn’t like Rufus. Not hard to believe. I’ll also never get tired of her multiple husbands jokes.
9:35 p.m. Chuck’s schemes seem way less cooler when he’s not working with Blair.
9:36 p.m. What is Ke$ha doing playing in the background of this party? And at Nate’s house?
9:37 p.m. Bro code be damned, Nate can’t keep it in his pants for one episode.
9:39 p.m. That’s so high school of you, Ben, to suggest that Serena has to choose between you and her very mother.
9:40 p.m. Oh my God, Rufus. That’s the most interesting thing you’ve done in two seasons.
9:47 p.m. That game machine behind Chuck looks like the one from Big. You know, when Tom Hanks turns into an adult. Good plot twist coming up.
9:49 p.m. The van der Woodsens always bond in a bedroom while a party is going on. Every time.
9:50 p.m. Eric has unbelievably girly handwriting.
9:52 p.m. What could Vanessa POSSIBLY do with that information? This show is so ridiculous sometimes. OK, all the time.
9:56 p.m. It’s funny that Lily calls Ben Benjamin just like she calls Chuck Charles.
9:57 p.m. You’re right, Blair. This was kind of a fail episode for you. I’ve never felt so far away from you.