Liveblog: ‘Gossip Girl’ Gets a New Roommate

We’re all debating the chemistry of this show, as apparently the writers are throwing all the relationships up into the air. Blair and Chuck? Blair and Dan? Serena and her weird ex-teacher? Let’s hope something concrete at least happens tonight. I’ll be liveblogging.

Leighton Meester and Ed Westwick in CW's "Gossip Girl."

9:02 p.m. The only people having sex on this show are Chuck and Raina and it’s totally boring.

9:04 p.m. It’s totally realistic for Dan to be weirded out about the Ben thing. He always has problems with other people who have had things for Serena.

9:06 p.m. What is Eric’s attachment to Damien? He has literally done nothing for him ever. And why is Damien so orange?

9:08 p.m. Haven’t they learned to never leave Nate alone with a woman ever?

9:12 p.m. Serena is stuffing her face? It must be to fuel her boobs, which are EATING her necklace in this scene.

9:13 p.m. Eric is currently channelling Jenny because someone on this show needs to be doing pointless and dirty scheming. At least Blair always has a point.

9:14 p.m. Blair and Chuck bonded over scheming…and burlesque. I’m glad her memory goes back that far.

9:15 p.m. Nate is really a puppy, only good for his pretty face.

9:16 p.m. “There’s nothing my daughter doesn’t tell me.” All fathers really believe that.

9:17 p.m. “I guess I could use something to keep me company at night.” Ben uses the most deliberately creepy lines.

9:18 p.m. Epperly is like a younger, more flexible Lady Catherine. Blair’s sharp jabs really come out when Nate is around.

9:19 p.m. Chuck says his hotel “family” like it’s some sort of mob he runs.

9:20 p.m. Dan Humphrey, cock blocking Serena van der Woodsen at every opportunity.

9:20 p.m. Dan Humphrey, cock blocking Serena van der Woodsen at every opportunity.

9:23 p.m. Serena takes the line “We make the hipsters fall in love” from that Ke$ha song really seriously.

9:27 p.m. It seems unrealistic that Raina is as stupid as Nate.

9:28 p.m. Blair should get credit for a psych class for all that analyzing she does of Serena’s relationships.

9:30 p.m. Why would Blair not forward the calls? Wouldn’t that make her get an even better performance review?

9:34 p.m. Sometimes Raina sounds like a less tightly wound Blair when she talks. It works for Chuck.

9:35 p.m. It’s so unlike Dan to fall for this sort of crap, especially from Damien.

9:37 p.m. Chuck’s hiding place is where he tried to rape Serena?! Of course!

9:38 p.m. Chuck would have a lie ready for that if he really wanted to.

9:39 p.m. Serena would never turn on the object of her affections so quickly. And Ben would definitely deny it, especially because Damien is completely unbelievable. You also can’t really even see that his face is red under all that self tanner.

9:44 p.m. This show always has the most random musical guests.

9:45 p.m. Serena actually pieces together that this scheme makes no sense…a little weird, but good for her.

9:46 p.m. Nate’s favorite movie is The Sound of Music? Seriously, the best nugget this show has ever delivered.

9:47 p.m. Eric you can’t be surprised that you were used. It makes my waning respect for you literally disappear.

9:52 p.m. It probably physically hurts Dan to admit to being wrong.

9:54 p.m. “What other friends?” Good point Eric. You’re never with anyone.

9:55 p.m. This relationship between Chuck and Raina seems to be starting off on kind of a normal, healthy foot. After they got all that scheming out of the way. Weird.

9:56 p.m. “You’re leaving your job for Eat Pray Love?” You’re right Blair, that wasn’t even a good movie!

9:57 p.m. That would happen NEVER! Blair can not possibly have that job. She has no degree and no experience. It is completely absurd.

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