Liveblog: Gossip Girl Returns

Tonight marks the end of Gossip Girl’s winter hiatus, season four’s episode 12 The Kids Are Not Alright. Did Dan and Blair hook up over the winter holidays? Will anyone forgive Vanessa–or Lily for that matter? Is Ben still going to be around? I’ll be liveblogging all my thoughts, so stay posted.

The cast of the CW's "Gossip Girl."

9:05 p.m. Not even five minutes in and Blair got in a dig at Jenny and successfully changed the subject so that Serena didn’t pick up on her inevitable Dan-time. Welcome back, girl.

9:09 p.m. Are we sure Lily’s not Blair’s mother? Why haven’t those manipulative skills manifested in Serena? And OF COURSE Rufus forgave her already, he’s such a poodle. The miniature kind, not the standard.

9:10 p.m. “Want to go somewhere to talk? Or not talk?” Nice season one reference Dan. She’s got other things on her mind though.

9:14 p.m. “I feel like I’m 20 again!” Is Nate’s dad already back on drugs?

9:16 p.m. Dear God, Dan and Blair stop bickering. That’s really reserved for Chuck. If this keeps up everyone’s going to jump ship.

9:17 p.m. Wow Blair, it took like 30 seconds for that scheme to blow up. Dan Humphrey is calling you predictable?

9:18 p.m. Chuck is turned on by Serena dressed up as Lily? Isn’t that like two times incestuous?

9:24 p.m. Lily is good. But Chuck will never do anything on anyone’s terms but his own. Plus, the buyer is totally Jack.

9:26 p.m. Wow Blair. WHAT happened during your hang out time with Dan?

9:27 p.m. Eric you save every situation with your perfect timing. And you are more of a man of that house than Rufus. “No, Mom, I’m going to disapprove of you in my own clothes.” He has better taste than her anyway.

9:30 p.m. James Franco! How far have you fallen? And Serena, funny how you can stand up Dan even when you’re right next to him…

9:35 p.m. That girl one-upped Chuck? God how many subtle signals can they send us that Chuck and Blair are over?

9:36 p.m. Well Eric, clearly YOU’RE related to Lily.

9:37 p.m. It’s kind of a throwback to season one when Blair called out her mother for being so self centered that she would throw her own daughter under a bus. Now Eleanor is actually calling out Blair. Kind of rightfully so. Although how can you not love Blair?

9:38 p.m. A look between Blair and Dan. Oh good. The Gossip Girl universe seems to be pushing us into the Twilight Zone. Where up is down, Chuck and Blair have no sexual tension, Dan and Blair do, and Serena is finally out of Dan chances. Frankly up being down seems like the most possible of those choices.

9:44 p.m. There you go Rufus. Always trying to get Dan an internship.

9:45 p.m. Wait, didn’t Nate’s mom get the Captain his job? So basically he wasn’t good at anything in the first place.

9:46 p.m. Why do Blair and Dan always have these heart to hearts about their families that no one in this show does? They’re like the most real people, but only together. What are you telling me Gossip Girl?

9:47 p.m. Wait, this party is Chicago-themed? Oh, New Yorkers.

9:52 p.m. “A friend of mine.” The show can still touch our hearts in the fateful last ten minutes.

9:53 p.m. “I don’t mean to take advantage of you…” You just make it so easy.

9:55 p.m. Blair, you are a young Devil Wears Prada’s Meryl Streep. Perfection.

9:56 p.m. It’s funny that Chuck and Blair used to scoff at “holding hands and going to the movies” but Blair and Dan are going on movie dates.

9:58 p.m. I’m free for ANYTHING? Really, Ben?

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